Fort McStinkyville

I was feeling very tough the other day - must have been all the spinach I ate at dinner the night before. In fact, I was feeling tough enough to take on Fort McMurray in a duel. With my trusty assistant to document this historic event, I headed to Syncrude, where I knew there was a piece of Fort McMurray waiting for me.

I admit that I was the instigator, and that I trashed talked Fort McMurray in an attempt to goad it into engaging me in the duel. Well, my cocky attitude worked. We circled, measuring each other up, before flying head long into the battle. I pulled and pushed - even kicked a bit! We felt evenly matched, then I started to make some head way - I was winning! I sneered at Fort McMurray, jeering and trash talking it even more. Fort McMurray did not appreciate this, and it came back even harder, hitting me full on in the gut with a punch backed by strength developed during years of digging for oil.


I doubled over in pain, realizing that it was too late to recover from the mighty blow I had received. Fort McMurray seized the opportunity and jumped on me with all its weight. I was pinned down and there was no getting up. I struggled for a minute or two, but eventually had to tap out because the weight of Fort McMurray on me was crushing the breath and life out of me. I was crushed by Fort McMurray.


So for now I concede that my opponent has won. For now. I will nurse my wounds for a while, make a new plan, build up my strength, and come back with reinforcements.